I went to the bloody interview!
I felt sick and nervous and my knees were shaking, but I did it. It was fine. She was a bit weird, get me- SHE was a bit weird- hahaha! She was very laid back, almost too chilled if you know what I mean. Anyway, I'm not sure it's the right job for me. She would want me to be self-employed which I'm not very pleased with. It's a way for her to save money on tax, NI and not having to pay me sick pay, holiday pay, etc. HMRC wouldn't be very pleased if they found out that she was my only employer either as I should be on PAYE not self-employed. Anyway, I haven't definitely got it, but I'm not even sure I want it.
What it has done is pushed my confidence on a wee bit again. Today it was bearable anxiety-wise, a year ago there is no way on earth I would have been able to drive all that way AND go to an interview. By next year, who knows what I might be capable of. It's very 'slowly does it' but building on each little victory, no matter how small. Last May I drove just 1/2 mile down the road on my own and it was a huge achievement, I felt enormously proud that I'd done it without freaking out. This year I can drive a good 30 miles on my own. My world is opening up again. I hope.
congratulations and i am so glad you are proad of your self, from what you have wrote you have come such a long way, way to go girl ;)
ReplyDeleteWELL DONE Jenny. So proud of you. Maybe it's not the job for you after all but that's less important than the fact that you made it, coped beautifully and have added to your confidence. Such an inspiring story. I'm 1/2 a mile down the road at present but sure, you show it can be done. Each little victory is a huge achievement. Fabulous!!
ReplyDelete((hugs)) so happy for you :)
Thanks for the lovely comments girls, means a lot, really.
ReplyDeletexx