Introspecting

Feel really blue.

I'm so lonely in the day. Our flat is freezing. I have no money. I feel helpless. My life is passing me by in a blur of inactivity. Years are being wasted hiding away and being too scared to do anything out of my comfort zone. What a waste of a life.

Things should hopefully improve next year. I have to wait for my Debt Relief Order to be discharged before I can earn any proper money, until then I'm a little bit trapped. There are so few jobs around, and because my criteria are specific, it arrows it even more. I can't claim any benefits because I live with my boyfriend and we're classed as "married" in the eyes of the DWP. We don't have enough money to feed ourselves. I may have to move back with my mum and dad for a few months so that I can at least claim Job Seekers Allowance and have something. Trouble is, they live 200 miles away from here, and I'm sure my dad would hate the idea... I'm like a bad penny that keeps coming back! My mum would love it.

Bobbing along

Another interview today. I was considering cancelling it but I didn't. Pat on the back. It was an'informal chat' so there was less pressure, which was helpful. The guy was really nice- a bit like Mike Reid!! Fingers crossed as I think the job would be a good match for me. It's a reception role, but the place is reasonably quiet, and the customers are mainly elderly and hard of hearing!

I'm still eating too much. I'd love to lose weight, but I find it very difficult to control myself. Food is my crutch, in fact the first thing I did to 'congratulate' myself on going to the interview was to buy a pastry on the way home! I wish I could see it just as fuel and not a reward/ consulation/ friend/ comfort!

Just sat here watching Heir Hunters- daydreaming that I have a rich distant relative who has popped their clogs and I am the sole beneficiary to their millions!! It could happen! Until then, let's hope I get a job soon (and one that doesn't send me loopy!)

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