It's been a long time. I'm having a bit of a wobble. At the back of my mind I keep thinking 'oh no, here we go again, this is where I lose all my marbles!'.
Feel really anxious, obviously. It started with a dizzy spell. I've been feeling a bit light headed and have had a run of minor illnesses since Christmas. It's made me lose a bit of confidence- you know how it goes- standing in Sainsbury's and you feel like you might fall over, so you stop going. That logic makes perfect sense to people like us, doesn't it?!. It's stupid. I need to get over this.
It's really helped to come back here. Reading the below 'Health Anxiety' blog from a few years ago and I'm now in the same boat, having the same ludicrous thoughts.
I moved from Sussex to Norfolk with my partner (soon to be husband if I can make it to the Registry Office!). I have my own small eBay business, scraping together a living. I think not mixing with people, however, doesn't have a very good effect on me. The only person I see, bar my partner, is my mum. It allows me too much time to think about how I'm feeling- to check in with myself every bloody ten minutes to see 'ooh, I have a strange pain in my stomach- is this appendicitis?' or 'am I still feeling dizzy?'.
I need some sort of action plan. I think it should involve getting out and actually mixing with people. Perhaps I should volunteer. We'll see.
If Steph/ Coffee Cup happens to read this, I'd love to hear from you- I think about you often and wonder how you are getting on.
