Eek!

I've got an appointment at a recruitment agency on Monday. Small steps. I'm very nervous but it has to be done. Whether anything will come of it or not who knows. At least it's a step in the right direction and will hopefully help build my confidence a bit.

Went into town today for a little look around, was out for about 40 minutes, no anxiety.

Spent the rest of the afternoon mostly crying after going on a binge. I have been losing weight slowly for the last year and a half. Binges are few and far between but today I practically ran to the corner shop and got a packet of crisps, 2 chocolate bars and a sandwich. Ho hum. I was trying to self-medicate through the medium of crappy food! Some people choose drink, some drugs, me? Yorkie bars! I felt so shit after. How can I be so controlled sometimes and then completely bugger it up? Completely self-destructive behaviour as I HATE being overweight. It contributes hugely to my rock bottom self-esteem.

Suffered a few palpitations today, first time since this time last month. Maybe it is connected in some way to PMS? Will keep track.

That's all for now. More random ramblings to follow.

xx