How am I?

I'm good!

Yesterday I went on the London Underground on my own! I travelled from Norfolk to West Sussex via central London. I was so nervous before I got the train. But I stayed calm, relaxed and was fine. The anticipatory anxiety, in my case, is far worse than actually doing the thing you're terrified off. The tube wasn't a walk in the park by any stretch of the imagination but I grinned and bared it. It was only 5 or 6 stops, but loads and loads of people got on at Oxford Circus- eek! Squashed, anxious person in a metal tube= panic rising in the pit of the stomach! I survived.

And today? I went for a really thorough interview. I think I did well. Again, the lesson to myself is, the anticipating is far worse than the reality. In fact, running through my mind when I was sat in the car waiting (of course I was ridiculously early!) was that I could turn around and come home and no-one would be any the wiser (John, family- obviously the company might twig!!). I could say 'yeah, it went well, I'll wait and hear'. But I did it, and I'm bloody pleased with myself. Even if I don't get the job, I feel like every little (or big) thing that I can do, makes me stronger.

Let's hope, if I do get it, or another job, it doesn't end in the same fashion as my previous one two years ago. Let's not even think about that for now!